Stories from Bob's Life

When I was in the 7th grade, attending Gunston Jr High School in Arlington Va in school year 1964-65,  I was in a drama class, and had a bit part in the play – A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  The drama teacher wanted me to sign up for another play and since I had had fun in the Midsummer Night’s Dream play, I thought that was a good idea and was talking to my Dad about it.

He told me that he thought I was better suited for another path – and should try wrestling. He’d seen me be an avid little league baseball player, and in our previous school in Carlisle Pa, I had played for my elementary school football, basketball teams and continued with  little league baseball.   He had seen me as more an athlete than a drama club type.  He suggested wrestling, as he had done some of that in flight school and thought I’d like it – so he  suggested I try it.  Turns out my PE teacher Mr Pat Varre who I liked, was also the wrestling coach, so I asked him about it,  he encouraged me, so I went out for the team.  I initially had no idea how to wrestle, but enjoyed the challenge and the tem camaraderie,  liked what I was learning, and admired the older guys on the team who were the Jr HS Varsity.  As a new beginner, I was Jr Varsity on the Jr High team, and had a couple of matches which I don’t remember.  I almost certainly lost them. (note: I later learned that Pat Varre was a former All-American wrestler from U of Md.)

But I was intrigued and felt challenged and wanted to get better,  so signed up for a summer wrestling camp at Wakefield HS, for 2-a-day practices. To get there, I  took the city bus across Arlington, worked hard, learned a lot and when I returned to the first wrestling practice in my 8th grade year, I was one of the better wrestlers on the team.  Unfortunately, my father had orders to Mayport, Fla and the family had to move not long after the season began.  The coach asked my parents if I could live at his house for the 6 weeks left in the season.  My parents said no which I believe a mistake. It would have been a great growing experience to become part of his family for a while and have the pressure of high expectations…. oh well.

In my Florida HS there was no wrestling, but I played Pop Warner Football, and ran track and actually competed in the State Jr Olympics running the 880yd haf mile and ran a lot with the cross country runners.   After my 9th grade year in Fla, we moved to Va Beach where I attended Cox HS, which had one of the best wrestling programs in the region.  As a 10th grader I went out for the team, and was able to wrestle jr varsity matches, had some success, and eventually got a couple of varsity matches, and got slaughtered. After the season, I worked hard that spring in the gym after school with my friend Don Drew and Doc Conkwright,  and in the summer, with my friend Don Drew at Doc Conkwright’s barn behind his house.  By my junior year, I had become one of the better wrestlers on the Cox team.  I had a winning season, but did not qualify for the state tournament, but the next spring and summer, I repeated my dedication and focus, which led to me being a regionally ranked wrestler my senior year, and one o the captains of the team.

My senior year I lost my first match to Ruffy Kessing from Norfolk Catholic HS – in part due to having been sick that week, I did not practice and held back during the match, saving my strength – got behind and couldn’t catch up.  I went on to win all the rest of my matches EXCEPT i couldn’t beat Kenny Radman from Granby. I met him in the big Cox-Granby dual meet, then the following weekend in the finals of the District tournament and then the following weekend in the finals of the Regional tournament.  He beat me each time, but by narrower margins.  My plan was to meet him in the finals of the state tournament….

But that didn’t work out.  Like prior to my first match, I got some sort of bad cold or flu the week before the state tournament, didn’t practice hard, was not feeling strong or confident going into the state tourneament.  I met in my first match Mike Schoemaker who had been my wrestling partner at Gunston Jr High 5 years earlier.  I had handled him easily then and was confident I could handle him easily this time.  Like in my match with Ruffy Kessing, I felt weak and wrestled defensively, so held back, got behind and lost the match 8-7. Mike got beat his next match and the state tournament  and my HS wrestling career was over.

I had lived for wrestling for the 3 years I went to Cox HS and became a pretty good – though not a great – wrestler. When I went to college, I planned to continue wrestling, so I walked on to the Stanford team, earned a spot as a freshman on the varsity squad at 167.  I brought some mostly East coast moves and approaches to my West coat opponents – winning several matches against more experienced wrestlers.   But as a freshman at Stanford, I was all at once exposed to a whole new world of ideas and opportunities, and was frustrated that spending so much of my time and energy with my old pursuit was holding me back from exploring this other new universe.   After getting beat in matches by guys I knew I could’ve beaten – and noticing that it didn’t bother me – I  realized that I’d lost my ambition and drive to win.   About half way thru the season, I realized it was time to move on from wrestling.  I decided to stay with the team thru the season, which I did, and then quit.. My coach, Dave Reed was pretty disappointed since he saw a lot of potential in me, but my heart wasn’t in it any more.

That said, for the next several years, I did regularly go to wrestling practice for the workout and to enjoy rolling around with the guys I knew.  I did still truly enjoy the challenge and fun of wrestling, but was no longer willing to give it my full and undivided extracurricular attention – which is required to succeed as a Division 1 athlete.  I’ve often said that the many years I spent wrestling – one of the toughest sports there is I believe – significantly and I believe positively, shaped me as a man, an athlete and eventually as a SEAL.