Stories from Bob's Life

I was living in a basement apartment on Atlantic Ave and 84th street near the ocean entrance to Ft Story. It was only a half block to the ocean, so on a weekend, I took a folding chair and or a towel put on my surfer beach shorts, grabbed a book and went down to the beach to read and enjoy the sun, the sea, and the pretty girls who would be on the beach on a weekend.  I believe it was a warm day in March, and I believe I was reading one of my books about the Asian warrior ethos. That’s while I was still shaping my clumsy identity as a UDT-SEAL warrior officer.

Not long after I settled down at the foot of the dunes, I see a couple of women approaching me.  One of them was Judy Lyon, the wife of my former Commanding Officer at UDT 21 with whom I had gotten along well – Judy is a gregarious, uninhibited lady, who loved to party and had an eclectic set of interests which we enjoyed sharing when we were at wardroom parties.  Her husband Ted, then a LCDR, was/is a quiet, rather Stoic, old school a traditional naval officer. The woman who was with Judy, I didn’t know or recognize.

Judy approaches me with a smile and we chatted and caught up.  Her friend stands back and doesn’t say anything, watching.  Judy of course introduces us but the other woman doesn’t join the conversation about people Judy and I knew, what we’re doing etc.  At that point I was still  a LT(jg) in UDT 21, still struggling to find my way and figure out this strange new warrior culture that I had chosen to enter.    Judy’s husband Ted had already moved on to his next assignment, having turned the command over to Aubrey Davis, so I assume I was catching Judy up on some of what was going on in the wardroom of UDT21.  

At that point in my life, I was still rebounding from a disappointing break up in another relationship, and so was looking at getting back into the dating game.  I and the woman with Judy exchanged a few glances.  I noticed she was attractive and alert, and seemed to be sending me subtle signals from her that she found me at least interesting. 

After they moved on down the beach, I thought to myself that the woman with Judy would be interesting to get to know, as I was still relatively new to dating.  So later that night or the next day (I don’t recall) I called Judy to ask her to remind me of the name of the woman who had been with her, ask her a bit about her, if she was  single/unattached,  and if so, how I might contact her.  Judy gave me  Mary Anne’s phone number, I gave her a call and she was open to seeing me. I learned later that Judy had called her and given her a heads up that I’d called asking about her.  So apparently Mary Anne wasn’t too surprised by my call, and we arranged for me to come by her place later that week after work, and we’d go out.

On the day when I had arranged to drop by and connect with Mary Anne, it apparently was a slow day at work and I believe it was Stan Holloway (an exuberant, gregarious and older, more experienced  officer at UDT21) invited me to join him and some others at the O Club right after work for a couple of beers.  Given that it was still early, about 4pm, and I wasn’t meeting Mary Anne until 6 or 6:30, AND I was still doing everything I could to connect with these other officers in the wardroom (so very different from the people I’d hung with at Stanford!) I said “Sure – I’m in.” 

The Officers Clubs in 1977 were still very alcohol oriented and encouraged drinking.  As I recall,  for happy hour that day the bar at the club was offering nickel beers – yep, 20 for a dollar – but the glasses were small – probably half or 1/3 pints.  We started knocking them back, which increased our enthusiasm and gregariousness, so we probably threw down another dollar or two and kept knocking those small, cheap beers back.  

I do remember realizing suddenly that I had lost track of time and was going to be late for my date with this woman I didn’t really know.  Also that I had not held back and was at least half in the bag. I left, drove home (drinking and driving was routine then) to quickly change clothes and head to her townhouse on Shore Drive, less than 10 minutes from my place.  I also realized that though I was not falling down drunk, I was pretty drunk, but didn’t want to make that impression on this woman who I might want to see again.  So I resolved to try to appear as sober as I could. 

So,  I go to her place, arriving more or less on time, went in and we went through that awkward stage of finding out who each other was – kind of like a blind date.  But it wasn’t that awkward for me, because I was pretty well lubricated and animated, which made it easier on her.  But I wasn’t slurring my words – she was cautiously impressed with how relaxed and jovial I was, as we went through the ritual dance of “who are you, what do you like to do, how do you like to have fun?”  She made some hors d’ouvres, we had a glass of wine or two, and so chose to stay in, hang out and talk rather than go out to eat.  

One thing she has since shared with me, that clinched it for her that I was worth seeing again, was that when I was looking at her bookshelf and what she was reading, she had a copy of The Portable Jung on the table. When I asked her, “So you’re into Jung?”  she was amazed that not only had I heard of Jung, but I could pronounce his name properly! Of course I shared with her that I’d read his autobiography Memories Dreams and Reflections, and was interested in his theories about the role of fairy tales on the collective unconscious.   

As a Lt in the Navy, Mary Anne had been immersed in Navy culture for several years, and had dated a number of naval officers and even a few SEALs, but none of them had ever heard of, much less were interested in Carl Jung.  So that told her I was different, interesting and probably worth seeing again.  

I also recall seeing a print she had framed on her wall of a pretty young woman sitting on mountain peak looking out into the distance with a pensive smile on her face, which prompted me to comment to her that that was a picture only a true romantic would hang on her wall, and she agreed.  I suspect that that observation also made a positive impression on her. 

 I also remember sitting with her on the couch in her living room having fun chatting and laughing – we were clearly connecting.  Being a well lubricated young guy, I was thinking to myself how I’d like to take her upstairs and get more intimate.  Should I suggest it?  My better judgment told me not to – if she invited me up, that’d be great – but this seemed to be working out as it was – don’t take a chance on ruining it.  Glad I didn’t.

We agreed to meet again soon – I believe that weekend – and we attended a performance at Chrysler Hall.  She thinks it was a ballet, I think it was a musical.  I remember noticing that she dressed conservatively, in a way that I thought was more appropriate for an older woman, which set me back a bit, since I was used to dating younger gals who normally dressed more provocatively.  An important part of what I like about her was that she was unpretentious and genuine, not trying to be something she wasn’t. And indeed,  she WAS older – she was 27 and had been in the game longer; I was a naive 24 yr old.    We had a good time at the performance, and went back to my junky, former garage apartment on Atlantic Ave and concluded our date the way young adults like to conclude a good second date with someone whose company they like and have connected well with.

What made it easy for us to further develop our relationship was that her townhouse on Shore Dr was directly on my way home to my place on Atlantic Ave.  It was very easy and convenient for me to stop in and see her on my way home from work.  More and more often, I didn’t make it home until the next morning.  Pretty soon I had a lot of my clothes there and was spending more time at her place than at my own.  

Another couple of brief memories from that very early phase of our relationship: 

• At UDT21, the guys had found a litter of kittens in the wall of one of the old WWII era quonset huts that we occupied, and Mary Anne agreed to take two of them – named them Liv and Bibbi.We both enjoyed playing with and caring for the 2 UDT kittens.
• Mary Anne and her sister had long planned a bike ride around Ireland for two weeks during May, just a month or so after we’d started seeing each other exclusively.  I and Judy Lyon were going to take care of her kittens and her apartment while she was gone. Judy pointed out to me that the freezer compartment in her refrigerator was almost frozen over, and I  thought I could solve that problem for her.  So I got an ax to cut away the ice that had accumulated, and in the process, accidentally punched a hole in the wall of the freezer compartment. That ruined the refrigerator and required that we replace the entire refrigerator.  Mary Anne has never let me forget that especially when I tell her – “Hey I think I can fix that!”